Growing Up

Tyler came home last night from his first day on the new job and he looked so grown up. Khaki pants and a black polo shirt and his name tag with his name already permanently affixed. The week of no electronics paid off quickly...perhaps even too quickly because the minute he got his job, I gave his electronics back since that was the deal. He learned, though, that he would not find a job by sitting in the confines of his bedroom filling out job applications online but rather by getting out there after that initial step and then going into each location to ask for a manager and drop off a resume. I kept trying to explain to him how important it is to put a face with a name, look them in the eye, shake their hand. It paid off. His second day out he scored a manager meeting who called the next day for an interview. At the interview he was hired on the spot. Yeah, Tyler! He's growing up. When I think back abou the kids being little some days it seems like it was forever ago and other times like last night it seemed I was looking at this young man coming home from work but at the same time I was seeing this little boy running around the house in his Thomas the Train slippers bobbing to and fro. Where have the days gone?

Life as I know it...

I'm sitting here on the couch this morning with my hot cup of coffee with the creamer that I enjoy being addicted to. I guess there are worse addictions. I went to bed not feeling good with a headache and the start of a sore throat. I have awakened feeling the same way. I just emailed Tyler's counselor about his senior year classes and while hitting send on the email it hit me. One day in the not too distant future, Tyler and Brianna are going to move out. I talk about it. I even joke about it how I'll use one of their rooms as an office and one as an exercise room. The reality of the situation though is that the thought of it makes me so sad that I want to cry. I can't imagine them not being here. My fridge and cupboards are full of junk food and baked ziti and homemade cookies. I love to cook for them. When they are gone what will be left? Yogurt and strawberries? Let us not forget the cheese - another addiction slightly worse than the first one I mentioned.

I go to bed alone and I wake up alone...but sooner or later the kids get up. The house becomes the noisy, talkative, video game playing, movie watching place that I love so much. What will happen when they aren't here to get up and hang out? What happens when someone no longer needs me to cook for them? The stark reality of the fact that my kids are turning 21 and 18 this year kind of frightens me. Oh, there is slight joy hidden in the back but moreso than that is a fear of what life will be like if they aren't around needing me. I would say that is probably a flaw of mine: I like to be needed. Not sure why. Another session perhaps.

I signed Ty up for his ACT last night and helped him look over the college pre-requisites for the program he is looking at (with my encouragement). He's having to grow up a little more this week. I've taken away his electronics until he shows some motivation for something other than his electronics. He needs to land a part-time job and he needs to do what is asked without being asked 3 or 4 times. This week has been a transitional week for him. I came home yesterday and he was out cleaning up fallen tree debris in the yard and he mowed the grass. He actually noticed that it needed to be mowed. His friend gave him an ACT study guide since he is done with it and told him since he is grounded from electronics this would be a good time for him to use the study guide. I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

Oh well, off to finish my coffee and get ready for work. I won a jeans day at work so jeans it is. I hate Thursdays for at least 6 more weeks. After that I will finish this second master's degree. I've already passed the Florida Educational Leadership Exam so certification is on the way. Life is good but some days it just feels a little too busy and I long for a rainy weekend curled up on the couch watching movie after movie with little else in mind.