You know...sometimes you meet someone and it seems "Oh so great," and then after some time goes by you realize the greatness is the newness of the situation and each person settles into who they really are. I'm active, can't sit down, and hardly ever stop thinking and planning. I thought for quite some time that I found someone who could keep up with me. I was wrong and tonight I'm feeling the sadness of ending something that seemed really great...but still I found it doesn't really meet my needs.
I've wavered on this decision for a while trying to figure out if it's just me or if it's just us and I finally realized it doesn't matter. It's just not exactly what I'm looking for and I don't feel at 47 that I'm ready to settle in to something that I am doubting. I think a relationship needs a certain chemistry or spark and so I will continue in my search.
Even though he saw us together until death, I felt myself pulling away. I think I'm looking for someone that will grab my hand and take me on the road, travel, jet skiing, scuba diving, to sporting events and someone that has a passion for life and, most importantly, for me. I honestly don't even care most of the time what it is I'm doing...I just like to go do things.
So, as I sit here alone pondering the next step...
Thanks, friends, for listening to me this last week or so as I made my decision and followed through. I really appreciate the encouragement!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Selfish...Who Me?
So, Brianna and Will have decided to re-set the wedding date to what they originally talked about and deal with whether or not she is finished with school. This is exciting. She has wavered back and forth about transferring to UCF and finishing her bachelor's degree just to gain some different experience but unless he gets transferred there I think she will stay home and finish. But then again...who knows...she could change her mind again tomorrow. The cool thing is that she's allowed to. She doesn't really have to decide. The world won't end if she does or doesn't so she can take her time and figure it all out.
We are goin to FIU on Saturday to tour the college and see what Tyler thinks of the campus and the IT program there. I'm excited to go check it out. The USF visit a few weeks ago was great and I could definitely see him going there. I could also see him staying at home through his AA and then transferring somewhere else. At least he knows what he's interested in.
One day soon they'll both be on their way and some days I can hardly believe it.
I can't help but wonder what I'll be doing. I've finished this second master's degree and just submitted my paperwork for my last tuition reimbursement. I am considering actually reading a book for pleasure and not because it is required. I have a summer reading stack ready to go as soon as I get some time. I played catch up this weekend out in the yard doing some weeding and trying to tackle this crazy vine that is trying to infiltrate everything. I also finished up my portfolio and dropped it off at FGCU on Sunday so I should be totally finished with school work.
I need some relaxation in the chaise by my pool for some brain time because I am contemplating all kinds of interesting things at this point in my life. The oasis that is offered in my backyard provides this place for me that takes me away from the day-to-day grind.
I went to the gym after work today and found a different kind of solace. I worked out a little on the elliptical, biceps, triceps, the lat pull down machine (my favorite), and get this, I did 150 stomach crunches on that ab machine. I wonder how I'll feel in the morning. It's been way too long since I've taken this serious enough to make any headway and I'm thinking now I can get back into working out since I have finished school. So much to fit in on top of life and I find it easier if - well - if no one wants anything from me. It seems like my forties is a really good time to be a little selfish though I'm not really good at it, I am getting better.
I remember being called selfish in the past and I can't help but laugh because I am truly the farthest thing from it but I'll be damned if I'm not working on it!
We are goin to FIU on Saturday to tour the college and see what Tyler thinks of the campus and the IT program there. I'm excited to go check it out. The USF visit a few weeks ago was great and I could definitely see him going there. I could also see him staying at home through his AA and then transferring somewhere else. At least he knows what he's interested in.
One day soon they'll both be on their way and some days I can hardly believe it.
I can't help but wonder what I'll be doing. I've finished this second master's degree and just submitted my paperwork for my last tuition reimbursement. I am considering actually reading a book for pleasure and not because it is required. I have a summer reading stack ready to go as soon as I get some time. I played catch up this weekend out in the yard doing some weeding and trying to tackle this crazy vine that is trying to infiltrate everything. I also finished up my portfolio and dropped it off at FGCU on Sunday so I should be totally finished with school work.
I need some relaxation in the chaise by my pool for some brain time because I am contemplating all kinds of interesting things at this point in my life. The oasis that is offered in my backyard provides this place for me that takes me away from the day-to-day grind.
I went to the gym after work today and found a different kind of solace. I worked out a little on the elliptical, biceps, triceps, the lat pull down machine (my favorite), and get this, I did 150 stomach crunches on that ab machine. I wonder how I'll feel in the morning. It's been way too long since I've taken this serious enough to make any headway and I'm thinking now I can get back into working out since I have finished school. So much to fit in on top of life and I find it easier if - well - if no one wants anything from me. It seems like my forties is a really good time to be a little selfish though I'm not really good at it, I am getting better.
I remember being called selfish in the past and I can't help but laugh because I am truly the farthest thing from it but I'll be damned if I'm not working on it!
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