Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

I've thought about this one for quite some time. I realized that there is only one answer to this.

Myself. I made my own life hell.

It would be easy to blame it on someone else but the bottom line is I am the one that stayed. I stayed for love. I stayed for chemistry. I stayed because I thought it would get better. I stayed because I thought he'd change. I thought he'd see how great we were together...how we fit together like we were formed in the same mold. I thought he'd want to marry me. I thought he wanted to raise our kids together. I thought he wanted to take me away. I thought and I thought and I thought...and I dreamed some damn good dreams.

I kept myself in this hell for over a year after we broke up. I thought for six months that he was off working on himself and that he'd come back for me. That was until that December day that I saw her in the car with him...in my place. The same one I knew he'd been talking to...and it turned out to be the one he married. He moved on...I didn't. I couldn't. I was supposed to be with him. It's that line of thinking that tortures the mind and the soul.

I'm the one that made my own life hell. Only me...and I take full responsibility for it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

People marry for many reasons, only one of which is love. By the same token,many others walk away from love not fully understanding what love is.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful......now forgive yourself